Such a simple word that I and so many others seem to have a hard time saying. Why is that? Why are we so afraid to say “no”?
I’d like to consider myself a people-pleaser. I try to keep the peace, and try best to avoid arguments and confrontation if I can. But I started to notice that in trying to “keep the peace”, I was sacrificing my values, my opinions, what’s important to me. I realized that “people-pleaser” started to sound a lot more like “pushover” to me, and that’s something I didn’t want to be.
So I had to ask myself: what’s more important? Trying to please everyone by not having a voice, or risking offending a few people to share my input and say what I have to say?
In case you didn’t already know, option one is impossible. You can’t please everyone. No matter how hard you try, there will always be people in your life that simply won’t agree with what you say, that won’t understand the way you think. And that’s ok. Because those people don’t really matter, do they?
When you start incorporating that one word more and more into your vocabulary, you’ll quickly start to see the results. From there on, if there’s something you don’t agree with, a request or task you don’t want to complete, an invitation that you’d rather not honor, you can speak up and tell that person how you feel. And if you explain your reason for refusing or disagreeing, nine times out of ten they’ll understand and maybe even respect you more for saying how you feel. And if they don’t, nine times out of ten they don’t really matter.
Say what you want to say, when you want to say it. Let people know how you feel instead of letting them walk all over you. Because if you don’t respect yourself, who will?
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss